Rhonda writes:

WWJAD for a Klondike bar?

Interesting question Rhonda. There are many things that I would do for a Klondike bar. Here are just a few things:

Eat a whole head of cabbage
Beat my own brother with a blunt object repeatedly
Watch DS9 and Voyager. For that I should get a whole truckload of Klondike Bars
Wear my socks inside out
Scale the Andes
Saw off my genitallia with a butter knife!
Jump onto my best friend, bite into his neck and rip into his throat!!
I would have a home lobotomy
Bark like a dog
Cram it up by butt! Then fart really loud!
Stand on my head and do the “Macarena.”
Fart in a bottle and sniff it
Program a cheesy MIDI version of the “Friends” theme song
Skip nude over an open flame
Eat a spoonful of coffe powder raw
Staple my asshole together
Moon a trucker
Stand on my head and recite the alphabet backwards
Walk a mile, but I’d probably need a ride back
Skip and hop like a kangroo
Buy it a brand new freezer, so it could spend the rest of its life there
Program in Visual Basic. But, I’d want two for that
Pound my balls flat with a wooden mallet
Live in my bath tub for a year
Not eat Spam
Eat shards of broken glass
Run naked in a mall
Pick my nose in front of a hostile crowd
Move in with my mother and stay there
Dance naked and hold out my hat to collect the money
Lick the back of my hand and wipe it on my forehead
Pull my tounge around and lick my anus
Date a polar bear
I would ski down a mountain backwards
Moo like a cow while standing near some bulls
Fart underwater turn around real fast and try to catch the bubbles
Belch to the tune of “Star Spangled Banner”

John E. writes:

“How would Jerry solve world hunger?”

Dear John,

First of all, thanks for writing. World hunger is quite a baliwick to take on. But honestly, I’m not entirely sure it needs to be solved. There is a reason people are starving on this planet. It’s mainly from overpopulation in these areas. Sure, poverty and evil warlords come into play occasionally. See, any scientist will tell you that nature abhors a vacuum. This, to me, means that nature seeks a balance. Therefore, nature is seeking to balance the inequity in the ecosystem.

We all know that it’s impossible to fight nature, so I say just let nature sort it out.

Regards,
Jerry

Welcome to my new site!!

I’m asked daily for my advice on different situations and opportunities. I felt it was only fair to share this with the world. If you would like my advice on something please feel free to email your question to ja@wwjad.com and I will get back to you as soon as I can.